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 My nephew graduated law school today

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LL

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Location : KCMO
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: My nephew graduated law school today   Mon May 16, 2011 12:13 am


Naturally, I'm duty-bound as his favorite uncle (OK, so I'm his only one) to jab him at every turn for going over to the Dark Side.

Lookin' for your best lawyer jokes to make him feel, um... appreciated. Twisted Evil

Any new lawyer jokes---as in, just started in the biz---would be especially appropriate.
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MisterE
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Location : Mexico City
Registration date : 2009-08-24

PostSubject: Re: My nephew graduated law school today   Mon May 16, 2011 12:47 am

Hey, congrats man! Always good to have family who's "in the profession"....

Here are a couple, not necessarily aimed at the newb. Funny though...

A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahead of him in line to see St. Peter. But, to his surprise, St. Peter left his desk at the gate and came down the long line to where the lawyer was standing. St. Peter greeted him warmly. Then St. Peter and one of his assistants took the lawyer by the hands and guided him up to the front of the line into a comfortable chair by his desk.

The lawyer said, "I don't mind all this attention, but what makes me so special?"

St. Peter replied, "Well, I've added up all the hours for which you billed your clients, and by my calculation you must be about 193 years old!"

Warning Signs that you Might Need a Different Lawyer

1 Your lawyer tells you that his last good case was of Budweiser.
2 When the prosecutors see your lawyer, they high-five each other.
3 Your lawyer picks the jury by playing "duck-duck-goose."
4 Your lawyer tells you that he has never told a lie.
5 A prison guard is shaving your head.

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brando71

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Age : 46
Location : An Italian in BogotŠ
Registration date : 2010-04-12

PostSubject: Re: My nephew graduated law school today   Mon May 16, 2011 1:26 am

Congratulation man! cheers
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Slow Puffs
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Age : 68
Location : Alberta. Canada
Registration date : 2007-12-10

PostSubject: Re: My nephew graduated law school today   Mon May 16, 2011 9:56 am

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Ol'Dawg

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Age : 71
Location : Northeast Georgia
Registration date : 2008-01-03

PostSubject: Re: My nephew graduated law school today   Mon May 16, 2011 1:56 pm

A few of my favorites--

How many lawyer jokes are there?
Just one, all the rest are true.

How do you tell if it is REALLY cold outside?
A lawyer has his hands in his own pockets

Whatís the difference between a dead possum in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
There are skid marks in front of the possum.

How can you tell the difference between a dead skunk and a dead attorney on the road?
The vultures arenít gagging over the skunk.

Whatís the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
Lawyers accumulate frequent frequent flyer points.

Why don't snakes or sharks bite lawyers?
Professional courtesy.

The American Medical Research Organization has announced that they will no longer be using rats for medical research. Instead they will now use attorneys. They have given three reasons for their decision:
1. There are now more attorneys than there are rats.
2. Medical researchers don't become as emotionally attached.
3. No matter how hard you try, there are some things that rats won't do.

Jim
PS-Congratulations to you and your nephew
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