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 Dad Passed Away

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Ocelot55

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Location : Columbus, OH
Registration date : 2012-03-28

PostSubject: Re: Dad Passed Away   Sun Jun 09, 2013 12:08 pm

I'm so sorry to hear this, Brian. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. If there is anything we can do for you let us know.
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pepesdad1

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Age : 74
Location : Tallahassee, Florida
Registration date : 2013-03-03

PostSubject: Dad Passed Away   Sun Jun 09, 2013 12:28 pm

So sorry for your loss. The pen and other inanimate objects that a loved one owned has just a wee bit of their soul in it. Cherish that object and you will feel the soul come to you.
Peace to you, brother,
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Growley

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Age : 42
Location : Fairhope, Al
Registration date : 2012-04-10

PostSubject: Re: Dad Passed Away   Sun Jun 09, 2013 2:11 pm

Thanks guys. I really appreciate your sentiments. It's odd, I had to grieve the loss of my father for probably the last 15 years. Oh, he was alive and well most of those years, but he wasn't the father most kids wished they had. Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of worse specimens of fathers out there, but I try not to compare. I think it's important just to look at what you have and live with it without comparison, because what you have is what you have.

Dad was always around, but wasn't really "there" for most of my life. Emotionally he was distant, as if his only job in life was to provide financially. Where my brother and sister remember him working on cars and bikes with us with love and care, I remember him swearing at us and throwing fits because of some mistake we'd make, some tool we'd misplaced or something we'd spill in the process. His temper was as high as his selfishness. In my childhood, I don't think I wished for more. I just grew up thinking the way it was was the way it was supposed to be. Some time after graduating from college and getting married, I started to realize there was a Dad-sized hole in my heart. I've had to grieve that for many many years.

Seeing that I'm in Alabama, and he was in Michigan, added to the fact that there wasn't much of a relationship there anymore, I only saw him when I had to go back for funerals. So, my grieving has pretty much run it's course.

I learned a lot from him, but most of what I learned wasn't lessons he knew he was teaching me. I constantly ask myself if I'm emotionally available for my kids, if I'm meeting them on a deeper level, if I'm loving my wife, or if I'm thinking only of myself.

Relationships aren't perfect here on Earth. We take what we get and do our best to make them as good as they can be.

Thanks again for all of your thoughts, prayers and concerns. What a great group of people you all are.

Brian.
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pepesdad1

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Age : 74
Location : Tallahassee, Florida
Registration date : 2013-03-03

PostSubject: Dad Passed Away   Sun Jun 09, 2013 3:03 pm

Sometimes those painful lessons we learn from our parents, serve as a model to avoid with our own children. Perhaps in some way it was a blessing that you suffered so that you are a better parent to your child today.

What us old folks went through was a different world than that of today, different pressures and unfortunately a different culture.

The fact that you recognize it means you have a leg up on the problem of relationships with your child.

You sound like you'll be a swell parent.

Many decent people here on this forum...many more than you would expect to meet in everyday interactions. I say God bless you all for it....and thank you from the bottom of my heart. I was loosing hope.

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the rev

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Age : 51
Location : Oak View CA
Registration date : 2012-10-08

PostSubject: Re: Dad Passed Away   Sun Jun 09, 2013 7:26 pm

Fr_Tom wrote:
It is different for everyone, but it is never easy. There is always unfinished business with fathers. You are on my heart and in my prayers.

this

there for you buddy

rev
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DoverPipes

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Age : 49
Location : HUDSON VALLEY NY
Registration date : 2009-05-24

PostSubject: Re: Dad Passed Away   Sun Jun 09, 2013 7:34 pm

Brian: Condolences to you and your family.
I still have my Dad. I don't know what I'll do when he's gone.
Hopefully, your Dad was peaceful when the time came.......

Godspeed,
Sean aka "DoverPipes"
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Slow Puffs
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Age : 68
Location : Alberta. Canada
Registration date : 2007-12-10

PostSubject: Re: Dad Passed Away   Sun Jun 09, 2013 8:28 pm

It's never easy to lose a parent. Blessings to you and your family.

Paul
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sand18f

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Age : 68
Location : Southern Appalachia
Registration date : 2011-01-17

PostSubject: Re: Dad Passed Away   Tue Jun 11, 2013 12:05 am

I'm sorry for your loss.
From the evidence that I have seen, I would have to say that your Dad did an outstanding job.
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DrumsAndBeer

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Age : 45
Location : Northern, CA
Registration date : 2012-04-04

PostSubject: Re: Dad Passed Away   Tue Jun 11, 2013 12:52 am

Sorry to hear this Brian. My condolences to you and your family.
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Irish Mike

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Age : 55
Location : Long Island, NY
Registration date : 2012-04-12

PostSubject: Re: Dad Passed Away   Tue Jun 11, 2013 6:34 pm

My Condolences Brian to you and your family. I lost my dad 18 years ago, it's never easy, hang in there.
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Growley

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Age : 42
Location : Fairhope, Al
Registration date : 2012-04-10

PostSubject: Re: Dad Passed Away   Tue Jun 11, 2013 7:08 pm

Thanks Mike. I appreciate it.
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Pipe'n Prof

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Age : 41
Location : Seattle
Registration date : 2013-04-27

PostSubject: Re: Dad Passed Away   Wed Jun 12, 2013 11:08 pm

My condolences, Brian. I can only imagine. You are lucky to have those pens, though. May they always bring a pleasant thought to mind.
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Briar Spirit

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Age : 49
Location : England UK
Registration date : 2012-08-30

PostSubject: Re: Dad Passed Away   Thu Jun 13, 2013 2:22 am

Sorry for your loss, broke my heart when my Da passed, thinking off you Buddy.
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docwatson

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Location : Central Massachusetts and midcoast Maine
Registration date : 2008-03-21

PostSubject: Re: Dad Passed Away   Thu Jun 13, 2013 11:03 pm

Sorry I'm late to post, but I offer you my sincere condolences. I'm also glad to hear that you do have a fine writing instrument as a momento that you can use for many years. Writing with a fountain pen is a classy custom. A wonderful personal touch that so few do today.
It's not hard to tell that you are a classy guy as well from your responses.
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Ol'Dawg

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Age : 71
Location : Northeast Georgia
Registration date : 2008-01-03

PostSubject: Re: Dad Passed Away   Thu Jun 13, 2013 11:23 pm

Sorry to hear about losing your dad.  My dad left in Dec. 1984 and about everyday I still remember to his wisdom, help, and sayings that I didn't think at first.

Jim
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alfredo_buscatti

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Age : 62
Location : Piedmont, North Carolina
Registration date : 2007-12-17

PostSubject: Re: Dad Passed Away   Fri Jun 14, 2013 6:36 am

My best wishes in this time of loss. That you hold yourself accountable for being emotionally available to your family demonstrates that you learned an important lesson from your father. Being distant and angry typifies, I think, the disposition of many a father from your dad's generation. You might say that they held themselves accountable only for providing, that otherwise they felt they should be the distant thundering patriarch
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pepesdad1

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Age : 74
Location : Tallahassee, Florida
Registration date : 2013-03-03

PostSubject: DAD PASSED AWAY   Fri Jun 14, 2013 12:51 pm

alfredo_buscatti wrote:
My best wishes in this time of loss. That you hold yourself accountable for being emotionally available to your family demonstrates that you learned an important lesson from your father. Being distant and angry typifies, I think, the disposition of many a father from your dad's generation. You might say that they held themselves accountable only for providing, that otherwise they felt they should be the distant thundering patriarch





Good God, Did you live next door to me, when I was a child?
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BigCasino

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Age : 49
Location : North of Pittsburgh pa
Registration date : 2012-11-27

PostSubject: Re: Dad Passed Away   Fri Jun 14, 2013 3:13 pm

Sorry to hear of your loss Brian
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Growley

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Age : 42
Location : Fairhope, Al
Registration date : 2012-04-10

PostSubject: Re: Dad Passed Away   Fri Jun 14, 2013 3:16 pm

Thanks again guys. I didn't expect the responses for this post to go on this long and I'm touched by it. It means a lot, and I appreciate it.
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