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alfredo_buscatti

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Age : 62
Location : Piedmont, North Carolina
Registration date : 2007-12-17

PostSubject: Other Posters   Mon Oct 28, 2013 11:36 am

There is no end to the offense we can, if so inclined, take about what another member posted and what we think such posts say about us. "It's a public forum" and as such we feel fully and shamefully exposed. For instance there is a member whose posts regularly bother me--arrogant, condescending, with overtones of acute pipe mastery. You have no idea of the things I've thought to post about him, in reply or in general.

But only recently I decided that we neither are in charge of each other. We are fully and gloriously human and need no one's opprobrium. I don't need to remonstrate with him about his behavior as I'm not in charge, and no matter what I would say to him, he'll not change to please me as he is busy pleasing himself, and vice versa.

I'm trying to get to the point that what others do on this board, though I may notice it, is no more than a ripple of annoyance in my pond. It's working.

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idbowman

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Age : 35
Location : Painesville, OH
Registration date : 2011-12-19

PostSubject: Re: Other Posters   Mon Oct 28, 2013 11:52 am

Well put. It seems that whatever board I'm on (whether pipe related or something wholly different), I can count on one or two folks really getting on my nerves, almost always because of that heir of superiority or mastery. Once upon a time, I let myself get drug into some rather nasty conversations when they got under my skin (never here, at least not that I can remember)...that always ended up doing more harm than good.

Once I got it through my thick skull that "it takes all kinds" and learned to just roll my eyes in private and keep scrolling through the threads, my experiences in online communities became much more enjoyable. Funny how I learned to do that out in the real world in my late teens and early twenties, but it's taken my at least a decade longer to realize the same could apply to the e-world.

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Briar Spirit

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Age : 48
Location : England UK
Registration date : 2012-08-30

PostSubject: Re: Other Posters   Mon Oct 28, 2013 12:01 pm

I know that feeling all too well, I don't try getting one over on such folk any more though as I'm terrible at arguments, my lack of quality vocabulary lets me down and I just end up saying the wrong things and making a jackass of myself instead. I now type the snide comments I feel like posting then just close the page without submitting, I get to say what I am feeling in a sense without causing any trouble, not getting my views across to the person in question obviously but it gets the angst out of my system all the same, works for me. Smile
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pipemaker

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Location : West Allis, WI
Registration date : 2007-12-18

PostSubject: Other Posters   Mon Oct 28, 2013 11:01 pm

Good point Mike.

Look on the bright side. We have the gift of being able to simply ignore a member who is offensive or  annoying on these boards.

We should not feel fully and shamefully exposed, because we are in control of what member we choose to ignore.

Try that at a party, business meeting or family gathering where there is often someone you would prefer to avoid and they stick to you like glue.

Regards,
Mike Brissett
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Hermit

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Age : 64
Location : Ascension Parish
Registration date : 2008-04-22

PostSubject: Re: Other Posters   Mon Oct 28, 2013 11:19 pm

alfredo_buscatti wrote:
There is no end to the offense we can, if so inclined, take about what another member posted and what we think such posts say about us.


The cigar chomping amberjack cannot be offended
by some other silly avatar on some silly forum.    Evil or Very Mad 
It always amazes me how personal some people take forum life.
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Slartibartfast

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Age : 50
Location : California
Registration date : 2011-09-25

PostSubject: Re: Other Posters   Mon Oct 28, 2013 11:55 pm

Hermit wrote:
alfredo_buscatti wrote:
There is no end to the offense we can, if so inclined, take about what another member posted and what we think such posts say about us.

The cigar chomping amberjack cannot be offended
by some other silly avatar on some silly forum.    Evil or Very Mad 
It always amazes me how personal some people take forum life.

Well said Hermit - I just can't be offended by anything anyone on an internet forum says; and I've never been able to understand why some people take it so seriously. It's as if they have a big ol' sense of self-identity invested in how their interweeb personna is perceived.

Suspect  Evil or Very Mad  Suspect  Evil or Very Mad  
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Briarbabe

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Age : 38
Location : PA
Registration date : 2013-07-30

PostSubject: Re: Other Posters   Mon Nov 04, 2013 11:49 pm

alfredo_buscatti wrote:
There is no end to the offense we can, if so inclined, take about what another member posted and what we think such posts say about us. "It's a public forum" and as such we feel fully and shamefully exposed. For instance there is a member whose posts regularly bother me--arrogant, condescending, with overtones of acute pipe mastery. You have no idea of the things I've thought to post about him, in reply or in general.

But only recently I decided that we neither are in charge of each other. We are fully and gloriously human and need no one's opprobrium. I don't need to remonstrate with him about his behavior as I'm not in charge, and no matter what I would say to him, he'll not change to please me as he is busy pleasing himself, and vice versa.

I'm trying to get to the point that what others do on this board, though I may notice it, is no more than a ripple of annoyance in my pond. It's working.

Yup, I agree. As I always say, "Adulthood, yo!" When something really rubs me the wrong way on a forum (I'm active in several) I try to figure out what MY beef is and then decide if it's worth responding too. As you've stated, most times it's not worth stirring the pot as nothing's going to change. The only thing I can change is my response. Adulthood, yo!
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Briar Spirit

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Age : 48
Location : England UK
Registration date : 2012-08-30

PostSubject: Re: Other Posters   Tue Nov 05, 2013 3:43 am

Briarbabe wrote:
Yup, I agree. As I always say, "Adulthood, yo!" When something really rubs me the wrong way on a forum (I'm active in several) I try to figure out what MY beef is and then decide if it's worth responding too. As you've stated, most times it's not worth stirring the pot as nothing's going to change. The only thing I can change is my response. Adulthood, yo!
Excellent philosophy, I must admit that sometimes I find it difficult to hold my tongue but you are absolutely right, it is simply not worth stirring up trouble, I like the way you think Buddy. cheers 
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Geoff



Registration date : 2013-09-08

PostSubject: Re: Other Posters   Tue Nov 05, 2013 7:49 am

We have a hard time with the written word. It can cause anger; when the same thing spoken wouldn't or might even get a laugh. It never hurts to ask for clarity. It beats a flaming contest every time.

A friend of mine at another forum got banned here over just such misunderstanding. Decent example of how we can get too carried away.
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ITSETTLE

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Age : 36
Location : Western MD
Registration date : 2012-01-29

PostSubject: Re: Other Posters   Wed Nov 06, 2013 3:00 pm

alfredo_buscatti,

Just ignore them.
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Tate

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Location : New Orleans, LA
Registration date : 2013-08-26

PostSubject: Re: Other Posters   Wed Nov 06, 2013 4:08 pm

"Don't get your panties in a twist."

That about sums it up.
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PozzSka

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Age : 33
Location : Valley City, OH
Registration date : 2013-07-02

PostSubject: Re: Other Posters   Wed Nov 06, 2013 4:22 pm

Tate wrote:
"Don't get your panties in a twist."  

That about sums it up.
What I do with my panties is none of your business! Shocked Razz 
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daveinlax

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Location : Wisconsin
Registration date : 2007-12-28

PostSubject: Re: Other Posters   Wed Nov 06, 2013 4:35 pm

I've read this board pretty much every day since the beginning and I just don't read
alfredo_buscatti wrote:
arrogant, condescending, with overtones of acute pipe mastery.
posts.

There have been members who I don't really like or agree with but they where mostly here to talk off topic, right wing opinion/politics and rarely, if ever pipes. Most of them have moved on.

alfredo_buscatti wrote:
You have no idea of the things I've thought to post about him, in reply or in general.
Yeah I know what you mean. I've deleted far more posts than I posted. Opinion is just that but if it's given as fact and you have a solid take in rebuttal say something.
We were talking at the pipe show in Vegas last weekend how many collectors have fled the pipe boards because there was little to be gained and not worth the frustration anymore Shocked
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mark
Admin
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Registration date : 2008-07-02

PostSubject: Re: Other Posters   Wed Nov 06, 2013 4:57 pm

daveinlax wrote:
We were talking at the pipe show in Vegas last weekend how many collectors have fled the pipe boards because there was little to be gained and not worth the frustration anymore Shocked
Little to be gained in what respect?

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alfredo_buscatti

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Age : 62
Location : Piedmont, North Carolina
Registration date : 2007-12-17

PostSubject: Re: Other Posters   Wed Nov 06, 2013 8:23 pm

mark, I must say that your new avatar tops any of those you had previously. Kind of reminds me of a zombie, but without eyes I would think mobility would be challenged;).
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Brewdude

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Age : 64
Location : Near the Emerald city
Registration date : 2011-05-04

PostSubject: Re: Other Posters   Wed Nov 06, 2013 8:31 pm

alfredo_buscatti wrote:
mark, I must say that your new avatar tops any of those you had previously. Kind of reminds me of a zombie, but without eyes I would think mobility would be challenged;).


Ya, and at the same time it's somewhat frightening.





Cheers,

RR
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DrT999

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Age : 59
Location : Piedmont of North Carolina
Registration date : 2011-08-31

PostSubject: Re: Other Posters   Wed Nov 06, 2013 9:05 pm

alfredo_buscatti wrote:
mark, I must say that your new avatar tops any of those you had previously. Kind of reminds me of a zombie, but without eyes I would think mobility would be challenged;).
I don't know, it rather reminds me of several administrators I've known. . . .
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Cartaphilus

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Age : 63
Location : East Texas
Registration date : 2011-12-15

PostSubject: Re: Other Posters   Wed Nov 06, 2013 9:28 pm

DrT999 wrote:
alfredo_buscatti wrote:
mark, I must say that your new avatar tops any of those you had previously. Kind of reminds me of a zombie, but without eyes I would think mobility would be challenged;).
I don't know, it rather reminds me of several administrators I've known. . . .
Reminds of the Movie Aliens and frankly I don't like looking at it because the way it's animated. No offense intended, it's just really out there, an evil sense.
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alfredo_buscatti

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Age : 62
Location : Piedmont, North Carolina
Registration date : 2007-12-17

PostSubject: Re: Other Posters   Thu Nov 07, 2013 7:33 am

Agreed - scary and evil; but a cutsie avatar ain't gonna get me
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puros_bran
Nightrider
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Location : Brandenburg, Ky
Registration date : 2007-12-10

PostSubject: Re: Other Posters   Thu Nov 07, 2013 8:55 am

mark wrote:
daveinlax wrote:
We were talking at the pipe show in Vegas last weekend how many collectors have fled the pipe boards because there was little to be gained and not worth the frustration anymore Shocked
Little to be gained in what respect?
Because they are better than us, DUH!!!

Seriously though (and stopping just short of defending some of the a$$clowns known as collectors I've ran into) why come here and talk a new guy through his first tin, compare and contrast Pete's vs Sav's, and rub shoulders with the Corn Cob Snob Society when they have nothing to offer or gain?  

We've had some high grade collectors. They were run off by folks hassling them about $1k, $2k , $3k pipes.... I really can't blame them.
By the same token, why would you even want to be here in off topic land where a thread like this is posted up for general discussion ?
BOB isn't really a Pipe Forum.. It hasn't been in a long time.  And It's okay.

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mark
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Registration date : 2008-07-02

PostSubject: Re: Other Posters   Thu Nov 07, 2013 11:42 am

[quote="puros_bran"] Because they are better than us, DUH!!![quote]

That's a given, but I wanted to denigrate the collectors that are fleeing the pipe boards and their condescending attitude by opening a conversation, not stating the obvious.


puros-bran wrote:
BOB isn't really a Pipe Forum.. It hasn't been in a long time.  And It's okay.
Pipe forums are crazy. You invite everybody to join and watch as the alphas try to run things, hackers destroy, spammers pester, trolls stir the pot, politics and religion causes long time friends to rage quit, codgers preach, condescension runs rampant, sniping at carvers, brands, and blenders becomes a mission, misinformation abounds, whining is a hobby, and membership turnover is faster than the wheels on a slot machine.

All this while trying to maintain a direction, remain flexible, keep the peace and weed out the wingnuts without gaining a reputation for heavy handed modding.

Characters come and go, the best forums have a core membership that looks beyond the smoke and uses the pipe as an excuse to form and share friendships.


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puros_bran
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Location : Brandenburg, Ky
Registration date : 2007-12-10

PostSubject: Re: Other Posters   Thu Nov 07, 2013 1:51 pm

BTW: Eff you and your scary avatar.

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Centurian 803
Long Arm O' The Law
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Age : 67
Location : Oak Ridge, TN
Registration date : 2008-09-10

PostSubject: Re: Other Posters   Thu Nov 07, 2013 1:59 pm

puros_bran wrote:
BTW: Eff you and your scary avatar.
Ah, Bran. I see you are still the diplomat. How I've missed that while away. cheers 
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puros_bran
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Location : Brandenburg, Ky
Registration date : 2007-12-10

PostSubject: Re: Other Posters   Thu Nov 07, 2013 2:26 pm

I've been mostly on sabbatical myself. But it is good to see you post.

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mark
Admin
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Registration date : 2008-07-02

PostSubject: Re: Other Posters   Thu Nov 07, 2013 4:44 pm

puros_bran wrote:
BTW: Eff you and your scary avatar.
Now I feel the love.


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