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 Hiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeee!

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Briarbabe

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Age : 38
Location : PA
Registration date : 2013-07-30

PostSubject: Hiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeee!   Thu Feb 27, 2014 12:00 pm

So, I'm not new, but I have been MIA for quite sometime now due to life being, well life like. I thought I'd take a minute to say hello and reintroduce myself because I'm sure there are lots of new people here since the universe decided to take me on a crazy roller coaster ride.

My mom passed away on Valentine's day in the morning. Some of you already know this. She passed peacefully in her bed at 9:02 with my (step)Dad and her baby sister by her side. It was a huge blessing as she had been battling this cancer for 2.5 years and when she did decline it went fast. I get my stubbornness from my mom. When her pain relievers were starting to make her lose control over her mind I imagine she had an internal conversation with herself that was something like, "Well this is just ridiculous, if you can't get it together enough to ask for ice chips, well then you'd just better let go already." And she did. And as crazy as it sounds, that thought makes me happy. My mom died peacefully, and because of that I have peace as well.

There was lots of family drama, of course, leading up to her funeral. Including a rather heated argument between my aunt and I in which she wanted to know why on earth I wanted any of my mother's Christmas stuff as I was an atheist and why do I bother celebrating Christmas anyway and blah, blah, blah. I was basically shut out from being present for my own mothers funeral prep because I'm no longer part of the Christian club. I didn't want to change anything, just simply be present so I knew what was going on, what mom wanted. My mother's faith was incredibly important to her and I respect and admire that a great deal. Anyway, the celebration of life service that mom had planned was beautiful and more joyous than sad. Standing room only and close to 200 people in that church. Mom loved and was loved by so many.

On February 1st, I moved in with my sweetie because I lost my job and couldn't afford the place I was living. I literally had to turn around and go straight home to NY and be with mom until she passed. Now that the funeral is over I'm back home and I am finally able to unpack and look for a crappy retail job (something I'm secretly excited about).

I also made the decision a while back to become the weekend parent in an effort to give myself a real chance at starting over and getting my butt into school finally so I can provide properly for my family. It's been the single hardest decision I've ever made in my life, but I know it's for the best and I know it was the right one. I'm currently looking into Penn State (as it's quite literally minutes from my new home) for either ultra sound or radiology tech. Good money and I can pretty much get a job anywhere, so it will be good for my family. I'm excited and terrified at the same time. I thought I gave up the dream to go to college at age 16 when I got a positive pregnancy test. Now it looks like my daughter and I will be going to school at the same time and both in the medical field. Life is amazing isn't it?

I've been back from NY for nearly a week now and filling out very long and silly online applications for jobs. Some of the questions they ask for doing things like selling women's clothes and make up or pushing fancy cheese at the grocery store, you'd think they were interviewing you to marry one of their children!

What else? Oh yeah, my dad (birth) sat my step mom down on Jan 1st and told her he didn't love her anymore and was having an affair. This was after 20 years of marriage. Ugh. I'm so done with his nonsense. He's well into his 70's and still behaves like a child. He moved out and hasn't bothered to contact me at all. So, thanks dad for letting me know exactly where I stand with you. It makes it all the easier for me to say I'm done. Peace to you, please stay away from me.

Watching my mom die with several of her dreams unfulfilled, ones that could have easily been fulfilled has made me really take a look at my life. So, I'm also doing some things that I have been putting off for way too long. I'm learning how to ride a motorcycle this spring. I'm saving up to buy my project car. I'm telling all the special people in my life that I love them every.single.time I see them. I'm writing more letters. Snail mail. I'm planning to do more things with my kiddos in the time that I do have them. Seeing how the very fabric of my little family is changing simply because my oldest is going off to college really makes me see how every single minute we spend together is precious. And I'm writing. It's my dream to do this for a living someday. So I'm writing every single day.

And I'm smoking my pipes. Blast this stupid cold winter that will not go away! It's cold outside! I've taken a lot of comfort though lately in standing under a black sky pin pricked with white stars and sending my tendrils of tasty smoke curling up to the heavens. Missed you guys.
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LordTemplar

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Age : 53
Location : Louisville, Kentucky
Registration date : 2014-01-16

PostSubject: Re: Hiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeee!   Thu Feb 27, 2014 12:07 pm

I am still rather new and you tell a touching tale. I am glad that you are back and are at least somewhat settled now. Penn State is a great school. Trust me. Before I became disabled I was a professor at U. of Louisville for 17 years. I know several Humanities professors from Penn State.

I am sending out healing thoughts to you and hope that things remain steady now and get better and better.

Chris
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Briarbabe

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Age : 38
Location : PA
Registration date : 2013-07-30

PostSubject: Re: Hiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeee!   Thu Feb 27, 2014 12:08 pm

LordTemplar wrote:
I am still rather new and you tell a touching tale.  I am glad that you are back and are at least somewhat settled now.  Penn State is a great school.  Trust me.  Before I became disabled I was a professor at U. of Louisville for 17 years.  I know several Humanities professors from Penn State.

I am sending out healing thoughts to you and hope that things remain steady now and get better and better.

Chris

Thank you so very much Chris, it's greatly appreciated.
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Cartaphilus

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Age : 63
Location : East Texas
Registration date : 2011-12-15

PostSubject: Re: Hiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeee!   Thu Feb 27, 2014 12:20 pm

You were gone? scratch Wink 
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Briarbabe

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Age : 38
Location : PA
Registration date : 2013-07-30

PostSubject: Re: Hiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeee!   Thu Feb 27, 2014 1:08 pm

Cartaphilus wrote:
You were gone? scratch Wink 

Haha, smarty pants! Well, I did miss you and your cantankerous ways.
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Bluefisher

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Age : 44
Location : Seattle, WA
Registration date : 2012-11-02

PostSubject: Re: Hiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeee!   Thu Feb 27, 2014 1:15 pm

Good to see you back.  cheers 
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Puff Daddy
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Age : 53
Location : South of heaven
Registration date : 2007-12-09

PostSubject: Re: Hiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeee!   Thu Feb 27, 2014 1:29 pm

Welcome back, and I hope you're making the great turn away from a period of trouble and heading into better times.

_________________
These are horrible times and all sorts of horrible people are prospering, but we must never let this disturb our equanimity or deflect us from our sacred duty to annoy and hinder them at every turn.
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Briarbabe

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Age : 38
Location : PA
Registration date : 2013-07-30

PostSubject: Re: Hiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeee!   Thu Feb 27, 2014 2:02 pm

Puff Daddy wrote:
Welcome back, and I hope you're making the great turn away from a period of trouble and heading into better times.

Me too. Oh lord, me too.
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George Kaplan

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Age : 47
Location : Kalamazoo, MI
Registration date : 2012-01-07

PostSubject: Re: Hiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeee!   Thu Feb 27, 2014 3:42 pm

Apparently that was your ship I spotted on the horizon, being tossed about on the Seas of Life. I only caught a glimpse off the starboard beam as I desperately clung to the gunwale of my own schooner. Thank god for the safe harbor of BoB, and the promise of smoother sailing ahead. Am I right?
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Stick

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Age : 47
Location : 'Blighty'
Registration date : 2014-02-19

PostSubject: Re: Hiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeee!   Thu Feb 27, 2014 5:00 pm

Good evening Briarbabe and welcome back.
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Brewdude

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Age : 65
Location : Near the Emerald city
Registration date : 2011-05-04

PostSubject: Re: Hiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeee!   Thu Feb 27, 2014 5:04 pm

bb

First, please accept my sincere condolences on the loss of your Mother. I had been following her issue on your other threads and was wondering how that was going. At least she's no longer in pain and went quietly with you there at her side.

You've been through the wringer girl, but what doesn't kill you makes you stronger so they say.

Good to see you posting again and my best wishes on your endeavours.


Cheers,

RR
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DrT999

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Age : 59
Location : Piedmont of North Carolina
Registration date : 2011-08-31

PostSubject: Re: Hiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeee!   Thu Feb 27, 2014 5:35 pm

BB -- sorry to hear of the storms life has thrown at you recently, but glad to hear you are still afloat and moving onwards. Glad to have you back posting!

"T"
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Briarbabe

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Age : 38
Location : PA
Registration date : 2013-07-30

PostSubject: Re: Hiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeee!   Thu Feb 27, 2014 5:43 pm

Brewdude wrote:

You've been through the wringer girl, but what doesn't kill you makes you stronger so they say.

Good to see you posting again and my best wishes on your endeavours.


Cheers,

RR

Or in my case Brewdude, it's what doesn't kill you makes you stranger. Wink
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scotties22

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Age : 36
Location : Missouri
Registration date : 2012-06-10

PostSubject: Re: Hiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeee!   Thu Feb 27, 2014 10:57 pm

I was thinking about you this morning. Picked my phone up to send you a text and got side tracked by one of the kids  Laughing  . Glad you're back.  cheers 
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gravel

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Age : 43
Location : Oregon
Registration date : 2011-12-07

PostSubject: Re: Hiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeee!   Fri Feb 28, 2014 10:44 pm

scotties22 wrote:
I was thinking about you this morning. Picked my phone up to send you a text and got side tracked by one of the kids  Laughing  . Glad you're back.  cheers 

Same here. I'm not able to post as much as some, sometimes I have to choose between reading or posting.

Welcome back BB.
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Hawker

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Age : 52
Location : Alberta
Registration date : 2012-05-15

PostSubject: Re: Hiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeee!   Sat Mar 01, 2014 2:18 am

Onward thru the fog. Can't keep a good girl down. Glad your back and on track BB.

Condolences to you and your family, may your mother RIP.
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Fr_Tom

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Location : Diocese of Northern Indiana
Registration date : 2013-05-29

PostSubject: Re: Hiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeee!   Sat Mar 01, 2014 7:34 am

Glad to see you back. We missed you...
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docwatson

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Location : Central Massachusetts and midcoast Maine
Registration date : 2008-03-21

PostSubject: Re: Hiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeee!   Sat Mar 01, 2014 9:05 pm

Glad to have you back, and thanks for sharing your positive outlook with all that has transpired. My sincere condolences on the loss of your Mom. It certainly looks like your plan is going to work well for you and I wish you nothing but the best.  Very Happy 
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Briarbabe

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Age : 38
Location : PA
Registration date : 2013-07-30

PostSubject: Re: Hiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeee!   Sun Mar 02, 2014 5:38 pm

Hawker wrote:
Onward thru the fog. Can't keep a good girl down. Glad your back and on track BB.

Condolences to you and your family, may your mother RIP.

I read this out loud and my smarty pants sweetie says, "That's why you use rope." Razz

And thank you, I'm glad that mom didn't suffer and she went peacefully. It was a blessing.
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Briar Spirit

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Age : 49
Location : England UK
Registration date : 2012-08-30

PostSubject: Re: Hiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeee!   Mon Mar 03, 2014 2:55 am

Good to have you back with us BB, you were sorely missed Buddy.  sunny 
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Stick

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Age : 47
Location : 'Blighty'
Registration date : 2014-02-19

PostSubject: Re: Hiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeee!   Mon Mar 03, 2014 3:54 am

Good morning Briarbabe,
Apologies, at the time of my first 'welcome' posting I was in a bit of a tail spin.  Having given your post the time that it deserved, like others, I was very moved and offer you my sincerest condolences.  You've really been through the mill but have demonstrated a stiff upper lip to pull through.  I really hope things start coming together for you and your family now...
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riff raff

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Location : Western Maryland
Registration date : 2011-05-24

PostSubject: Re: Hiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeee!   Mon Mar 03, 2014 9:29 am

I wondered how you were making out. I'm sorry to hear about your mother, but you were fortunate to be there for her. Your plan seems well thought out - keep your foot on the gas pedal and keep us posted!
For Penn St. Mount Alto - make sure to check with your local State Senator and House of Reps - in Maryland, both offer college scholarships that are pretty much just for the taking. I'm betting PA officials do the same.
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Briarbabe

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Age : 38
Location : PA
Registration date : 2013-07-30

PostSubject: Re: Hiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeee!   Mon Mar 03, 2014 9:31 am

riff raff wrote:
I wondered how you were making out.  I'm sorry to hear about your mother, but you were fortunate to be there for her.  Your plan seems well thought out - keep your foot on the gas pedal and keep us posted!
For Penn St. Mount Alto - make sure to check with your local State Senator and House of Reps - in Maryland, both offer college scholarships that are pretty much just for the taking.  I'm betting PA officials do the same.  

Al, I'm no longer in Chambersburg. I moved to a town within minutes of Penn State (University Park). So many more opportunities! However, I will still look into the scholarships for my daughter as well as myself. Thanks for the tip. Smile
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riff raff

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Location : Western Maryland
Registration date : 2011-05-24

PostSubject: Re: Hiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeee!   Mon Mar 03, 2014 9:41 am

Gotcha! Most of the time, to get the scholarships you just have to fill out a short application. My wife's office gives $500-$1000 per year based on need. And, it's good for four years!

Briarbabe wrote:
riff raff wrote:
I wondered how you were making out.  I'm sorry to hear about your mother, but you were fortunate to be there for her.  Your plan seems well thought out - keep your foot on the gas pedal and keep us posted!
For Penn St. Mount Alto - make sure to check with your local State Senator and House of Reps - in Maryland, both offer college scholarships that are pretty much just for the taking.  I'm betting PA officials do the same.  

Al, I'm no longer in Chambersburg. I moved to a town within minutes of Penn State (University Park). So many more opportunities! However, I will still look into the scholarships for my daughter as well as myself. Thanks for the tip. Smile
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rothnh



Location : Midcoast Maine
Registration date : 2012-08-26

PostSubject: Re: Hiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeee!   Mon Mar 03, 2014 8:10 pm

Hawker wrote:
Onward thru the fog. Can't keep a good girl down. Glad your back and on track BB.

Condolences to you and your family, may your mother RIP.

Amen.

Condolences to you and best wishes as you move on, sister.
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