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 My dirty little secret of the summer of 2015

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Thistleoak

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Age : 35
Location : Northwest Michigan
Registration date : 2012-08-14

PostSubject: My dirty little secret of the summer of 2015   Thu Nov 17, 2016 10:15 pm

So as everyone knows I have my Harleys and love to ride.  I have my pipe collection and love to smoke. I have my small library at my house ( little under 1000 books)and  i love to read. Not many people know that I am on my second lease on life. Last summer I didnt feel quite right I was always tired and sluggish and my weight was fluctuating at an alarming rate sometimes up or down almost 25lbs in a week.  I did something I never do, I broke down and went to the doctor.... 4 blood tests, 1 MRI , a catscan and multiple soft tissue xrays later led to me sitting in an oncologists office at hackely hospital in Muskegon michigan with the Doctor giving me the long face.....  I was diagnosed with Thyroid and Lymphatic cancer.  Im not gonna lie, if you have never been through something like this shit get real... fast.  I made a follow up appointment to put together a treatment plan, left the doctors office and went back to work.  Hours rolled by and i was still not able to process the information that had been given to me... it wasnt until i was leaning against my work truck at a local icecream joint i service that it truly hit me. It was early june and tourist season had started. There was a line to get ice cream and i hear this guy say to his wife " this is total BS , its a 10 minute wait to get seated"...  it took every fiber of my soul to hold it together. I wanted to say " thats your big worry... tell me how tough you really have it"  i felt my eyes sting as i faught back tears.  The question that haunted me was how do i tell my family... it never seemed to be the right time to say anything.  I was a coward and did the most selfish thing i had ever done.  I faced it alone.  Having to hide a port in my chest and deal with really "bad sun burn" i slowly distanced myself from my wife.... things got bad... she would get mad because i wouldnt show emotion.  Standing in the living room she looked at me and said " you aren't the man i married, i dont know whats wrong with you? Do you not love me any more?"  I looked at her my eyes stinging again... i had already been through 2 chemo and 4 radiation treatments and i still hadnt told her.  How do you give bad news?  I just looked at her and told her my diagnosis and treatments. I took my shirt off. She welled up with tears as she reached out and touched my chest port. She then slapped me across the face hard and called me a string of names that would get someone banned from the asylum.  To make a long story short and clean it up ALOT she didnt accuse me of being and intelligent person.  That is the moment i learned a valuable life lesson that bad new doesnt age well.  The tide of my battle changed for the better as i had my family to back me.and help me out at that point.  I went through hell... i never took a single sick day from work... i had to keep busy or i felt the cancer would be in control and winning.  A lot of radiation both by gamma and by irradiated iodine and more than my fair share of time in a treatment chair having "poison" pumped into me to kill the radical growth.... and eventually having my dead thyroid and lymph nodes removed... i stand before you all a wiser man.. a live man... a blessed man
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Thistleoak

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Age : 35
Location : Northwest Michigan
Registration date : 2012-08-14

PostSubject: Re: My dirty little secret of the summer of 2015   Thu Nov 17, 2016 10:49 pm

Just to lighten the mood after reading my last post.... once Zach saw me in shorts.... he looked me in the face.... looked down to my bright white legs... back to my face... back to my legs and then turning and starting to run he screamed " THE BEACONS ARE LIT.... GONDOR CALLS FOR AID!!!!!"
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Ozark Wizard

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Age : 53
Location : Mark Twain National Forest, MO
Registration date : 2014-10-11

PostSubject: Re: My dirty little secret of the summer of 2015   Thu Nov 17, 2016 11:15 pm

Thistleoak wrote:
Just to lighten the mood after reading my last post.... once Zach saw me in shorts.... he looked me in the face.... looked down to my bright white legs... back to my face... back to my legs and then turning and starting to run he screamed " THE BEACONS ARE LIT.... GONDOR CALLS FOR AID!!!!!"

Both posts have merit. It reminded me of something of myself in the first post, and the second made me laugh.

Good stuff sir...................

Cool
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Puffy

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Age : 75
Location : North Carolina
Registration date : 2007-12-23

PostSubject: Re: My dirty little secret of the summer of 2015   Fri Nov 18, 2016 12:24 am

Praying that all goes well for you.
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Lonecoyote

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Age : 65
Location : State of Confusion
Registration date : 2016-10-15

PostSubject: Re: My dirty little secret of the summer of 2015   Fri Nov 18, 2016 5:48 am

Alex, may your days get better and you stay in remission. I will keep you in my Prayers. Believe me, I know what your going through.
ALL the best and have a Happy and Healthy Holiday Season cheers

KEEP ON PUFFING!!!
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Thistleoak

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Age : 35
Location : Northwest Michigan
Registration date : 2012-08-14

PostSubject: Re: My dirty little secret of the summer of 2015   Fri Nov 18, 2016 8:35 am

I owed some explanations .. couple brothers had got a hold of me and asked if i was ok because i seemed different than before. When i was going through that i got so tired both in body and mind that the lessons of humility and pick your battles got pounded into me...
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Thistleoak

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Age : 35
Location : Northwest Michigan
Registration date : 2012-08-14

PostSubject: Re: My dirty little secret of the summer of 2015   Fri Nov 18, 2016 8:36 am

I owed some explanations .. couple brothers had got a hold of me and asked if i was ok because i seemed different than before. When i was going through that i got so tired both in body and mind that the lessons of humility and pick your battles got pounded into me...
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WarlockBob

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Age : 25
Location : Beaverton, OR
Registration date : 2012-09-30

PostSubject: Re: My dirty little secret of the summer of 2015   Fri Nov 18, 2016 10:50 am

Goodness, man! That's a heck of a tale. I hope you're doing better now, and I pray the cancer never comes back for round two.

Sometimes, though we've been taught most of our lives to handle stuff by ourselves and 'take things like a man', we have to realize that our family members and friends are often MUCH more concerned about our day-to-day lives, and notice when things change. Honesty is the best policy, and you can't beat a good support team to help you stand on your own two feet when life kicks you in the crotch.

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BriarBeagle

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Age : 45
Location : Laguna Niguel, CA
Registration date : 2016-11-08

PostSubject: Re: My dirty little secret of the summer of 2015   Fri Nov 18, 2016 12:49 pm

Thistle,
Thanks for sharing your "dirty little secret" with us. That's a whole lotta reality to deal with alone. Glad you finally let the cat out of the bag and got the support from your family that all of us need as humans. I stuff a lot feelings, emotions, and thoughts, and have wrestled with the internal strife that this causes me. It has been an exercise for me to open up and share it with others around be, but the results are immediate: When we share our pain, it gets halved. When we share our joy, it gets doubled. That's been my experience, anyway.
My thoughts for good health and healing are with you.
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Brewdude

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Age : 64
Location : Near the Emerald city
Registration date : 2011-05-04

PostSubject: Re: My dirty little secret of the summer of 2015   Fri Nov 18, 2016 1:01 pm

Damn Alex, that's a very sobering account. Very tough to go through all that, and hope it's all behind you once and for all. It must've been difficult to share that with us, but kudos for your courage in all ways!


Cheers,

RR
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Thistleoak

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Age : 35
Location : Northwest Michigan
Registration date : 2012-08-14

PostSubject: Re: My dirty little secret of the summer of 2015   Fri Nov 18, 2016 1:10 pm

Brewdude wrote:
Damn Alex, that's a very sobering account. Very tough to go through all that, and hope it's all behind you once and for all. It must've been difficult to share that with us, but kudos for your courage in all ways!


Cheers,

RR
 Im with beagle.  It is an exercise to learn that you dont have to internalize things.  Goes against how i was raised but if i got past the catholic guilt i figured i could get past this LOL.  Its also like warlock said... we all learned to man up. Rub some dirt in and and walk it off, but sometimes leaning on a friend or close family for emotional support isnt a bad thing.    Its a lesson im proud to have learned . I like to think it made me a more compassionate man, kindness and thoughtfulness doesnt take away from how tough you are but strengthens you in a way.  I threw this out there also as an invitation, if any brothers or sisters here need a friendly non judgmental ear i am always here.  Its my way of trying to help strengthen our community.
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DrumsAndBeer

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Age : 45
Location : Northern, CA
Registration date : 2012-04-04

PostSubject: Re: My dirty little secret of the summer of 2015   Fri Nov 18, 2016 1:22 pm

That's one helluva harrowing experience, Alex. I am happy to hear that you are doing better.

It sounds like you have a wonderful wife and family.
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Thistleoak

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Age : 35
Location : Northwest Michigan
Registration date : 2012-08-14

PostSubject: Re: My dirty little secret of the summer of 2015   Fri Nov 18, 2016 1:32 pm

DrumsAndBeer wrote:
That's one helluva harrowing experience, Alex. I am happy to hear that you are doing better.

It sounds like you have a wonderful wife and family.
The Good Lord didnt bless me with a ton of smarts...im a simple man... but he made up for it with my friends and family
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BriarBeagle

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Age : 45
Location : Laguna Niguel, CA
Registration date : 2016-11-08

PostSubject: Re: My dirty little secret of the summer of 2015   Fri Nov 18, 2016 2:10 pm

I'm honored to be here among you kind, compassionate, and empathetic gentlemen.
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Timbo

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Age : 41
Location : Australia
Registration date : 2015-01-18

PostSubject: Re: My dirty little secret of the summer of 2015   Fri Nov 18, 2016 11:03 pm

Yowzers mate, that's one nasty story. At least it ended well.

On the subject of internalising, there was a great tv show here in Australia called Man Up. It broke down the stereotype male, stating that for our own health it was better for men to have the guts to share their thoughts and feelings with others than to bottle it up inside where it festers. It's a lesson I wished I'd learnt earlier in life.

So what I'm trying to say here is good on you for opening up to your wife, she sounds like a real keeper mate.

I've also got to agree with a joy shared is a joy doubled and a sorrow shared is a sorrow halved.

All the best everyone.

Cheers

Tim
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Thistleoak

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Age : 35
Location : Northwest Michigan
Registration date : 2012-08-14

PostSubject: Re: My dirty little secret of the summer of 2015   Fri Nov 18, 2016 11:09 pm

Thank Tim.  Hows the weather in your neck of the woods
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Timbo

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Age : 41
Location : Australia
Registration date : 2015-01-18

PostSubject: Re: My dirty little secret of the summer of 2015   Sat Nov 19, 2016 12:08 am

Cheers Alex, It was a gorgeous 35 degree celcius day yesterday heading into summer here but today has been about 18 degrees and windy. Still enjoying some 2016 Christmas Cheer in a wind capped cob on my porch and helping my son fix his bicycle.

How's your day turning out for you?

Cheers

Tim
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Thistleoak

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Age : 35
Location : Northwest Michigan
Registration date : 2012-08-14

PostSubject: Re: My dirty little secret of the summer of 2015   Sat Nov 19, 2016 12:18 am

Getting snow timbo.... gonna be a white Christmas lol
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Timbo

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Age : 41
Location : Australia
Registration date : 2015-01-18

PostSubject: Re: My dirty little secret of the summer of 2015   Sat Nov 19, 2016 12:41 am

Awesome, a white Christmas is something I've yet to experience, it's normally a stinking hot day over in Australia. Some families are mad enough to do the traditional baked turkey and ham with all the trimmings. My family does BBQ's and salads by the pool which is much more pleasant. I need to get to the northern hemisphere one of these years.

Cheers

Tim
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Thistleoak

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Age : 35
Location : Northwest Michigan
Registration date : 2012-08-14

PostSubject: Re: My dirty little secret of the summer of 2015   Sat Nov 19, 2016 12:45 am

I enjoy the white Christmas.... not the following months of subzero 45-50 below windchills. Cracked hands finger nails and lips from chapping lol
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