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 God I Hate People!

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Dock
BoB's Team
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Age : 106
Location : @ The Gym
Registration date : 2007-12-15

PostSubject: God I Hate People!   Mon Oct 12, 2009 10:15 am

Ok, Most of you folks know that I run a little carlot. Most of my cars are priced under $1,500.00 and some are as low as $500.00. Because of my low prices I deal with my fair share of looney tooneys and dreamers. Yesterday I showed a 1995 Cadillac with well over 100K miles. It's priced at $800.00. (THAT'S EIGHT HUNDRED WHOLE DOLLARS FOR A CLEAN AND GOOD RUNNING CADDY!)

A real weirdo came in, looked it over and left me a deposit on it. I came in this morning to see five messages on my machine.

The first:

HI Dock, this is Eddie. I'm commin in to pick-up the caddy today. Have the paperwork ready and I'll take it to my insurance company. BTW: can you have the car detailed in and out and make sure it has new floor mats? Ok, thank you.

Second:
HI Dock, this is Eddie. I'm commin in to pick-up the caddy today. Have the paperwork ready and I'll take it to my insurance company. BTW: can you have your mechanic do a full tune-up on the car and change the oil? Also don't forget
to have the car detailed in and out and make sure it has new floor mats? Ok, thank you.

Third:
HI Dock, this is Eddie. I'm commin in to pick-up the caddy today. Have the paperwork ready and I'll take it to my insurance company. BTW: Can you check the tires on the car? If it needs new ones please have white walls put on. Don't forget to have your mechanic do a full tune-up on the car and change the oil? Also don't forget to have the car detailed in and out and make sure it has new floor mats? Ok, thank you.

Fourth:
HI Dock, this is Eddie. I'm commin in to pick-up the caddy today. Have the paperwork ready and I'll take it to my insurance company. BTW: The car has a couple of paint chips. Have your mechanic touch all of them up before he buffs it.
Oh, and don't forget to check those tires on it. If it needs new ones please have white walls put on. Don't forget to have your mechanic do a full tune-up on the car and change the oil? Also don't forget to have the car detailed in and out and make sure it has new floor mats? Ok, thank you.


Fifth:
HI Dock this is Eddie. I'm not gonna buy the car afterall. I already bought another one. Thanks. It was a really nice car.
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Doc Manhattan

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Age : 39
Location : Land of Steady Habits
Registration date : 2008-05-26

PostSubject: Re: God I Hate People!   Mon Oct 12, 2009 10:22 am

I hope that deposit he's not getting back is enough to buy yourself a good stiff drink, because you deserve it!
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puros_bran
Nightrider
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Location : Brandenburg, Ky
Registration date : 2007-12-10

PostSubject: Re: God I Hate People!   Mon Oct 12, 2009 10:22 am

I'm sorry DPG but thats just hilarious...

I go through something similiar with my job... He Bran, be in Kensinton Ct on Tuesday...

Next one will be... hey hope you haven't left yet.. they put that off til Friday.. your going to Stirling NJ for wednesday..

Next one will be.. Make that Stirling for Thursday...

My next call will be... Hey guy, you better get going.. we have to be in Kensington tomorrow morning...
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kilted1
Great Scot!
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Age : 56
Location : North Georgia, USA
Registration date : 2009-01-11

PostSubject: Re: God I Hate People!   Mon Oct 12, 2009 10:24 am

I don't know why you are upset Dock, keep the deposit, put the new tires on it (whitewalls) probably around 75% of the selling price you are asking, have your mechanic give it a tune up (bumping the % of selling price to about 95%) touch up the paint while detailing it (we're now very likely at about 105-110% of the selling price) buy new floor mats (cheap ones from Chief Auto Parts not wishing to incur great expense) Hells Bells man, you only have to come off a little out of your pocket affraid

C'mon Dock I'm kidding ....


Last edited by kilted1 on Mon Oct 12, 2009 5:39 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Dock
BoB's Team
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Age : 106
Location : @ The Gym
Registration date : 2007-12-15

PostSubject: Re: God I Hate People!   Mon Oct 12, 2009 10:27 am

Laughing He left me a $40.00 deposit which I have NO doubt that he'll be in for shortly.

BTW:
In case you were curious,Here's the car. The tires are almost brand new Laughing I've got a group of "folks" lookin' at it right now:
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kilted1
Great Scot!
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Age : 56
Location : North Georgia, USA
Registration date : 2009-01-11

PostSubject: Re: God I Hate People!   Mon Oct 12, 2009 10:33 am

Man that is a very nice looking $800.00 car if I've ever seen one!
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jhuggett
BoB's Pioneer & Founding Father
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Age : 45
Location : Olympia, WA
Registration date : 2007-12-09

PostSubject: Re: God I Hate People!   Mon Oct 12, 2009 10:35 am

That is fricken hilarious!

_________________
Jason

"Freedom, Security, Convenience: Choose Two"
"For me, I will take freedom over security and I will take security over convenience." ~ Dan Geer
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Doc Manhattan

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Age : 39
Location : Land of Steady Habits
Registration date : 2008-05-26

PostSubject: Re: God I Hate People!   Mon Oct 12, 2009 10:37 am

That's a nice Cadillac Car for $800. (How long did it take to get the bloodstains and concrete chips out of the trunk? I swear, those union heads leave their cars so messy...)
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Tennessee Dave

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Age : 67
Location : Dayton, Tennessee
Registration date : 2008-02-12

PostSubject: Re: God I Hate People!   Mon Oct 12, 2009 10:42 am

Man that is a nice car. Already has a rack on the trunk to tie a deer to. Exclamation
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TreverT

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Location : Greensboro, NC
Registration date : 2008-06-29

PostSubject: Re: God I Hate People!   Mon Oct 12, 2009 10:56 am

Ask a pipemaker sometime about the guys who want to put a ten dollar deposit down on every pipe on their site, then pay in $7 monthly installments (interest-free, of course!) for the next fourteen years. Not to even mention the ones who want to special order a pipe and send you 45 long emails going back and forth over every possible detail they want, then back out when the pipe is complete saying they can't afford it after all. affraid I can imagine the kind of grief car sellers must deal with!
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glpease
Dark Lord
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Age : 59
Location : Here, now. Somewhere else, later...
Registration date : 2007-12-11

PostSubject: Re: God I Hate People!   Mon Oct 12, 2009 11:05 am

Love it. Great story. At least you got an entertaining anecdote out of it, but I suspect you have enough similar stories that it's not novel anymore.

Face it, Dock, there are a lot of folks in the world who wouldn't have a clue if you hit them upside their thick heads with a clue-by-four. There are medical tests to determine if someone is brain-dead, but none that can tell you if they're just brain-numb. And, there seem to be a LOT of those wandering about - like cows in boundless fields.

Thanks for the chuckle, though. Wink
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glpease
Dark Lord
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Age : 59
Location : Here, now. Somewhere else, later...
Registration date : 2007-12-11

PostSubject: Re: God I Hate People!   Mon Oct 12, 2009 11:21 am

TreverT wrote:
Ask a pipemaker sometime about the guys who want to put a ten dollar deposit down on every pipe on their site, then pay in $7 monthly installments (interest-free, of course!) for the next fourteen years. Not to even mention the ones who want to special order a pipe and send you 45 long emails going back and forth over every possible detail they want, then back out when the pipe is complete saying they can't afford it after all. affraid I can imagine the kind of grief car sellers must deal with!

I used to run a guitar amp repair and custom shop, High Energy Engineering. Most of the time, a guy would bring something in, tell me what he wanted, and let me go. If there were little tweaks that needed to be done, I'd work with him on it until he got what he wanted. Most customers were great to work with, and it was always a blast. Most of the time.

Once in a while, though, I'd be asked to do something fairly straight, followed by a list of impossible demands - things that would require a complete redesign and a new build, but they'd want it for $100, "'cause you'll use the stock parts, right?" Then, they'd demand to come in at every stage to see if it was going in the right direction. These guys didn't know what they wanted, so they couldn't articulate it, but they'd certainly "know it when they hear it." I got smart after a couple of these, and started sending these customers to the competition. The best way to avoid headaches is to make them someone else's problem.

Too quickly, the competition caught on, too, and started sending me THEIR problem cases.

Me: "Why don't you take this to Joe. He does this kind of work all the time, and is really good at it."

Customer: "I already talked to him. He sent me to you."

*sigh*
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Tennessee Dave

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Age : 67
Location : Dayton, Tennessee
Registration date : 2008-02-12

PostSubject: Re: God I Hate People!   Mon Oct 12, 2009 12:19 pm

Yep...there is no cure for stupid.
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Centurian 803
Long Arm O' The Law
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Age : 67
Location : Oak Ridge, TN
Registration date : 2008-09-10

PostSubject: Re: God I Hate People!   Mon Oct 12, 2009 2:02 pm

I feel your pain. I Hate People has long been a mantra of mine. It's like Forrest Gump said, "Stupid is as stupid does!" tongue
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Strongirish

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Age : 63
Location : Lake Conroe, Texas
Registration date : 2009-04-03

PostSubject: Hate people   Mon Oct 12, 2009 2:25 pm

Ah retail. I don't miss it one bit. Retirement is suiting me just fine.
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Hermit

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Age : 64
Location : Ascension Parish
Registration date : 2008-04-22

PostSubject: Re: God I Hate People!   Mon Oct 12, 2009 2:45 pm

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jhuggett
BoB's Pioneer & Founding Father
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Age : 45
Location : Olympia, WA
Registration date : 2007-12-09

PostSubject: Re: God I Hate People!   Mon Oct 12, 2009 2:52 pm

lol!

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Jason

"Freedom, Security, Convenience: Choose Two"
"For me, I will take freedom over security and I will take security over convenience." ~ Dan Geer
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DoverPipes

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Age : 49
Location : HUDSON VALLEY NY
Registration date : 2009-05-23

PostSubject: Re: God I Hate People!   Mon Oct 12, 2009 3:04 pm

$800 is outrageous!!!
I wouldn't pay any more than $799.99 for that car !!! SHEESH!
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kilted1
Great Scot!
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Age : 56
Location : North Georgia, USA
Registration date : 2009-01-11

PostSubject: Re: God I Hate People!   Mon Oct 12, 2009 3:09 pm

DoverPipes wrote:
$800 is outrageous!!!
I wouldn't pay any more than $799.99 for that car !!! SHEESH!

And he better throw in a complete tune up, and floor mats at the very least!!! Especially when you consider I have $40 tied up in her already affraid
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Herzl

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Age : 66
Location : Oklahoma
Registration date : 2009-05-17

PostSubject: Re: God I Hate People!   Mon Oct 12, 2009 5:34 pm

I've been always impressed by the sense of self of the most odious people. Whether a concentration camp crematorium manager, or your general all-purpose asshole, they all have their own sense of themselves, as though they're human. Part of the reason I won't eat meat, is that I decided that if these people are human, I would certainly be remiss not to extend that consideration to mice. They think they have feelings, love their family, and if you ask, they'd insist that they're a good person. The few who are self-aware enough to know they're an asshole will be quick to inform that that doesn't define their worth, or possiblities as a person. My fault may be that I don't believe people change. According to some child psychology, by the time they get out of the anal phase, a bit after three, and definitely by seven, you have what you have. That ratty child will be a ratty octogenarian. Some say that seeing people as fixed, and incapable of change this way, is asinine, and a bad way to view people. Maybe so.
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docwatson

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Location : Central Massachusetts and midcoast Maine
Registration date : 2008-03-21

PostSubject: Re: God I Hate People!   Tue Oct 13, 2009 5:28 pm

Ya know Dock,
That is a nice Caddy. WHY did you not take it for a drive down to RICHMOND and join us at the pipe show???????
YOU could have filled that trunk with a lot more tobacco for the ride home.
lol! lol! lol!
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Winslow

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Age : 71
Location : Midlothian,Va.
Registration date : 2008-04-11

PostSubject: Re: God I Hate People!   Tue Oct 13, 2009 6:39 pm

I worked in a service station part time in high school,once a customer
[who never bought anything] asked us to wash his windshield one January
night when it was -10F or so.The owner told him to drive it over to the service
doors and turn on his windshield wipers,then he directed a stream of water
from a garden hose onto the guy's windshield. Twisted Evil

Winslow sunny
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Dock
BoB's Team
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Age : 106
Location : @ The Gym
Registration date : 2007-12-15

PostSubject: Re: God I Hate People!   Tue Oct 13, 2009 7:33 pm

docwatson wrote:
Ya know Dock,
That is a nice Caddy. WHY did you not take it for a drive down to RICHMOND and join us at the pipe show???????
YOU could have filled that trunk with a lot more tobacco for the ride home.
lol! lol! lol!

cheers cheers cheers cheers cheers cheers cheers cheers cheers cheers
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adauria

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Location : Wake Forest, NC
Registration date : 2008-02-28

PostSubject: Re: God I Hate People!   Wed Oct 14, 2009 12:57 pm

If you still have the audio, you could definitely post it to:

http://emailsfromcrazypeople.com/

People are just the worst...

-Andrew
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Bub

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Registration date : 2007-12-15

PostSubject: Re: God I Hate People!   Wed Oct 14, 2009 4:13 pm

Dock,
Do you get customers like this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Y6dGwfNVZg
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