From the great Christopher Morley...
MY PIPE is old and caked with soot;
My wife remarks "How can you put
That horrid relic, so unclean,
Inside your mouth? The nicotine
Is strong enough to stupefy
A Swedish plumber." I reply:
"This is the kind of pipe I like:
I fill it full of Happy Strike,
Or Barking Cat or Cabman's Puff,
Or Brooklyn Bridge (that potent stuff)
Or Chaste Embraces, Knacker's Twist,
Old Honeycomb or ******fist.
I clamp my teeth upon its stem—
It is my bliss, my diadem.
Whatever Fate may do to me,
This is my favorite BBB.
For this dear pipe you feign to scorn
I smoked the night the boy was born."
I have had but one, a quite small billiard I found among my father's things when he passed; it appeared unsmoked. Too small for my taste; sold it years ago.